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Love, Fear and the EGO State


The LAF process is designed to help someone to look at the best side of situations, understand the bigger picture, accept other people’s opinions and views, and move toward love and away from fear.

All emotional states derive from just two base emotions, Love and Fear (LAF). Happiness, joy, contentment etc come from love. Anger, hate, jealousy etc all come from fear.

Love and Fear cannot be experienced at the same time.

If we choose one, we are automatically shunning the other. If we know which emotions are based on love, and which ones arise from fear, then we know which option we are choosing at the moment.

The feelings that come from love include, but are not limited to:

Happiness: Happiness can be experienced in many levels such as joy, delight, ecstasy, euphoria, pleasure, bliss, etc. True happiness only comes when we let go of all expectations and welcome whatever outcome we experience.

Empathy: Empathy comes from our ability to see ourselves in others and identify with their situations. It can also be described as compassion, pity, sympathy, kindness or affection.

Certainty: Certainty comes from our willingness to accept what is to come. It is our anticipation that all will be right in the end. Certainty can also be manifested as feelings of excitement, relaxation, tranquility and self control.

Honor: Honor comes from the unshakable integrity of our own beliefs, choices and actions. It can be experienced as honesty, confidence, resolve, respect, trust, humility and forgiveness.

Belonging: We experience a sense of belonging when we feel that we are part of a group with which we share common interests. Feelings of togetherness, support, helpfulness, caring, connection, contribution and dependability are all manifestations of belonging.

Wonder: Wonder comes from our gratitude for what life presents to us. Feelings of surprise, amazement, astonishment and awe come from our sense of wonder.

Acceptance: Acceptance is that calming and inspiring feeling that is exemplified by relief, comfort, non-judgment, cooperation and contentment. It is the ultimate peace of mind.

The feelings that come from fear include, but are not limited to:

Grief: Grief arises from a belief that things are wrong, unfair, or not as they should be. It comes from unmet expectations and an aversion to acceptance of what is. Some manifestations of grief include depression, remorse, regret, despair, gloom, hopelessness, disappointment, suffering, insecurity and doubt.

Apathy: Apathy is experienced when there is a lack of concern or respect for others. It stems from a feeling of disconnection with those around us. It can be expressed as hatred, contempt, scorn, indifference, disdain, disrespect, disgust, hostility, animosity, loathing or resentment.

Uncertainty: We feel uncertainty when we fear the unknown, which includes our entire future. Feelings of uncertainty are manifested as wariness, dread, distress, apprehension, worry, anxiety, doubt, uneasiness and stress.

Shame: Shame comes from a lack of confidence in our beliefs, the choices we have made, and the actions we have taken. It can be expressed as dishonesty, embarrassment, envy, jealousy, disrespect, guilt and humiliation.

Abandonment: Abandonment is an expression of our fear that we will not be accepted, that we will be ignored or forsaken. It can express itself as isolation, loneliness, alienation, neglect or desertion.

Horror: Horror is our fear of intense pain, irreparable harm, impending doom, or imminent death. Horror can manifest itself as feelings of terror, hysteria, shock, panic, helplessness, alarm, fright or disbelief.

Anger: Anger is sometimes an expression of our fear of the unknown. Other times we feel anger as a result of passing judgment when we believe that things are not as they ought to be. It is a result of our feeling that we have somehow been wronged, cheated, offended or denied what we believe to be rightfully ours. Expressions of anger include rage, fury, frustration, competitiveness, resentment, bitterness, aggravation and aggression.


Using the models from Maslow and Dante's Inferno, we have developed the LAF Model to show how operating from Love takes you up the scale, and Fear takes you down.

The Ego is a good thing to have, it is what makes us strive to do better, gives us our sense of self. When our ego works from a position of love, we strive, succeed, grow, and help others do the same. There is no sense of competition, only collaboration.

When the ego operates from a state of fear, that’s when things go bad. Hatred, anger, jealousy creeps in. You start to see competition and will try to destroy that competition.

We work with you to move you towards the Love and away from the Fear, allowing you to move up the ladder to the more positive experiences, emotions and a much more content life.